Shocking Self-Esteem KILLER

I went to an "Abs core & more" class with a friend last night. It was AWESOME. We had a great workout, and totally got our butts HANDED to us. We got killed. We were probably the youngest there, and possibly the most out of shape (which is probably what people thought,...but no no, we were screwing up on purpose just to bring smiles to other peoples faces. We are all about the smiles LOL). Ya no, we sucked!

I was feeling rather good about it though, I needed some motivation to create this six pack I want so badly! The part that killed me was the arm work out. Clearly the class should be "Abs core and MUCH MUCH MORE."

My arms have always been weak..always. My little brother could beat me at an arm wrestle by the time he was old enough to consciously move his arms. To this day he always calls my bicepts my "squishy muscles". Ok I think your starting to get the point.

Last year I got shingles in my shoulder. At first I thought it was just a dry patch of skin or something, so I put lotion on it and ignored it. Then it started to get itchy, and hurt, and it felt like I had a knife in my shoulder muscle. Normally by this point I would go to the doctor, but it was my first official day at my new job!! I obviously couldn't just call in! So I waited a few days, until one morning I woke up and the lymph node in my neck was basically protruding out the side! That's when I knew something was wrong. I got up the next day before work and waited at the walk in clinic for 3 hours. Then I left to go to work. After work I waited again for another 5 hours. When I FINALLY saw the doctor he told me I had shingles. I knew NOTHING about that. He told me that it eats away at muscles, and is a very serious condition. He said it spreads, and also can come back. If it comes back on my spine, eyes, or brain it can be life threatening. WHAT!?!?! Its in my left arm! Just take the left arm..I hardly use it anyways! (He didn't seem to get my humor, clearly he is not a faithful blog follower). So he told me I would have to take oral meds, and more oral meds to counter act the nausea of the first meds, (Yes, it was a fantastic first week of work lol) and creams...and he also told me to be prepared to have no muscle strength in my shoulder for a LONG time. What he didn't tell me is how much this all would cost! Oh my heck! Having just started a new job, I had no insurance!!! Side note..so thankful for insurance!

So here I was last night, almost a year later, thinking I have grown back most of my shoulder strength (considering right after I couldn't even find the strength to lift my arm over my head..no joke) I thought I would be able to do alright. Nope, I didn't. It was SOO hard. My arms were shaking, and my shoulders felt like jello. But I was SOO proud of myself for actually doing it, this is a BIG step in the direction of getting rid of my squishy muscles (shingles or no shingles).

I woke up a little sore this morning, but was still feeling so proud of myself. I lost 0.8lbs!! It isn't much, but is still great! I have set a goal to lose me "Mexico" weight. Dang all inclusives!

Today at lunch a friend at work asked if I would go with her to AMA to renew her registration. I didn't REALLY want to, but thought I should seeing as how I need to renew my drivers license.

I get there and I tell her everything is the same, as I just had it updated a year and a half ago when Brandon and I got married. Blond hair? Yup. Brown eyes? Yup. Wear contacts? Yup. Same address? Yup. Same phone number? Yup. 5'7"? Yup. *Pause* 110lbs....?

Thanks lady. I'm trying here! No I don't weigh the same as I did when I was fourteen years old!! Way to KILL my self esteem!

PS, I didn't answer with my current weight, I told her my goal weight, and I feel good about that :)