I came into work early today because I had an appointment at the hospital for more tests on these lungs of mine. So far the day was looking good. I got caught up on everything and then left for my appointment.
I get to the hospital and right away the lady apparently hates me. She asked me if I had taken my puffers this morning. I told her I had at 6am this morning (thinking to myself that if I hadn't, I would probably be the same light shade of blue as my shirt, because lately I can't breath without it). She rudely asks me if I read the hand out they had mailed to me, which CLEARLY states not to take any medication within 4 hrs of my appointment. I looked at the clock (which said 11)..looked at her, and replied with close to the same tone that I told her I took it at 6, its now 11, which equals 5 hours, which is CLEARLY more than 4. She the proceeds to tell me that even though it says 4hrs, they recommended not taking medication for the entire day leading up to the appointment, and that now because I had my tests results would be inaccurate. My response you may ask? "Well, maybe you should write your 'recommendations' on the booklet you mailed to me. Kind of defeats the purpose of me reading it if its inaccurate don't you think? Besides, your the respiratory therapist, not me, I don't know what is best for these tests, which is why I read the booklet...and followed its guidelines"
That response may have been that downward spiral to the appointment. But really? I have missed so much work, and sleep, and exercise because it is so hard for me to breath. I wanted this appointment to solve my problems, so I read that booklet cover to cover. Her comments almost hurt my feelings to be honest (that may be the lack of sleep talking) but seriously.
Then she took out a booklet of information she was sending home with me....and read every page word for word. I cannot stand that. I am not stupid. In fact, I consider myself to be a fairly educated person (at least educated enough to read). So at this point she had wasted about an hour of my time, to hurt my feelings and insult my intelligence.
We then proceeded to do the different breathing tests (which I was informed...again..may not be accurate because I didn't follow the unwritten "recommendations").
After the tests are complete she went through all the medication/puffers I'm on, which ones she would recommended I not take any more, which ones I take more/less of, and most importantly which ones I need prescribed because the ones I have are just not doing the trick. Perfect! Let's get what I need, tell me how much to take and Ill be on my way.
The kicker of this appointment? The following conversation:
Hospital Lady: "So these are my recomendations of what puffers you will need, and the strength you need them at."
Me: "Perfect. Let's try that"
HL : "Oh, I can't give that to you here"
HL: "Well I'm not a doctor, I can't write prescriptions"
Me: "Ok, so do I wait for a doctor?"
HL: "Oh no, we don't have a doctor here, you will need to go to a walk in clinic"
Me: Are you freaking serious? We are in a freaking hospital! How the hell do you not have a doctor here??! Are you kidding me? I just took off ANOTHER 3 hours from work for you to tell me my puffers are not working? Awesome, thanks, totally could have told you that given the fact I CAN STILL NOT BREATH!
Ok, so I didn't say that. I just thought it, and then called my mom and said it to her (Thanks for pausing your lunch date to listen to my rant, love you mom)
I can't remember exactly what I said. I was so shocked, and wanted to physically slap her so hard, I think I just shut my mouth and said ok. Then I went to my car and tried not to cry.
I feel so helpless. I can hardly take my dog for a walk without getting light headed. I carry my vacuum up the stairs and then need to sit and take a break. I am so sick of this feeling, and I am so sick that nothing and no one is helping me. I have missed so much work to wait in walk in clinics, and ERs. The beginning of May I called to get an appointment with a family Doctor, and my appointment is booked the end of November! Between me and my dog, I can't miss anymore work (not that my work wouldn't let me, I love them and they are awesome...more so because I set goals for myself that I need to meet....).
OH, and remember my comment about my blue scrub top. Ya, today is Tuesday (Burgundy scrub top day) not Monday (blue scrub top day)...and it took me half the day to realize I totally didn't fit in.
Dear Tuesday, please remove yourself the week. I hate you.